• berryman08

Overcoming the Fear

There is a lot of fear when I think about starting a blog. Fear of what others will think is a big one. Is my writing good enough? Will they understand what I’m trying to say? I even thought that before I start my blog maybe I should take a creative writing class or something first. That’s fear.

But instead of letting fear keep me from moving forward, I decided to get started. Of course I want to get better at writing and with time I will. But for now I will do my best at sharing my heart with you and hopefully what I write will encourage you or inspire you or at least put a smile on your face. This is me overcoming my fear……

Some of you may be wondering why I’m starting The GentleMentour.

As a baby my father was sent to prison and he has been there my entire life. Alcohol is what we originally thought to be his main problem but later we found out that he was diagnosed as bipolar and the alcohol was really the only thing that made him feel “good.” Just so we’re clear I’m working at forgiving my Father every single day. It’s a process but I do love him very much and am grateful to him for giving me life.

Now with Dad incarcerated and me just a newborn baby, my Mother really had to step up and change her ways in order for me to be taken care of. She was young when she had me and struggled with some addictions herself but with my Dad not around she knew she had to make some changes, and that’s exactly what she did.

Being a single mom is very hard. I remember her working multiple jobs and doing everything she needed to do to make sure I had food on the table and a roof over our head. I recall numerous times where money was tight and life was rough, but I never heard her complain. She always had faith in God and faith that we would be taken care of.

My Mom was my hero. She taught me, by example, how to overcome adversity. She taught me how to cook, clean, and how to defend myself from bullies. I remember going to work with her many times a week and seeing the way she worked and the way she hustled. It blew my mind! The work ethic I have today is because of what I saw from her growing up.

Because I was so young and didn’t understand why my Dad wasn’t around, I got angry. Angry for him not being there and angry that I didn’t have what the others kid’s had. The anger was so intense that instead of talking about it, I would just hold it in and pretend like everything was okay. Not good….

A young boy needs a father figure in his life to help him become a man…early on I didn’t have that. BUT what I did have was my Mom constantly encouraging me and reminding me how special I was and telling me at least 100 times a day that she loved me. She believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. Both of my Grandmothers also had a huge impact on how I was raised and I love them for who they are and for the way they’ve always taken care of me.

Another blessing from God was my Step Dad coming into my life. It was a few years before becoming a teenager and a time when I needed a man around the house more than ever. He taught me about respect, hard work, and not pretending to be someone I’m not. He’s an amazing man and I love him dearly.

Now as I’m writing this post, I’m 28 years old and chasing my dreams in Los Angeles, California. I’m engaged to an amazing woman who I’ve been with for 8 years and we couldn’t be happier. Of course I have difficulties just like we all do but what gets me through those tough times is remembering the lessons my family, coaches and mentors have taught me over the years.

If it wasn’t for the people I’ve mentioned, I could be in a jail cell just like my father but because of the love, support, and encouragement they gave me, I’m not.

I’ve always loved kids. I am an Uncle of 10 nieces and nephews so I get to spend a lot of time with them, which is amazing. What I’ve noticed though is just like me at their age, these young boys need positive role models more than ever. They need people to believe in them when they don’t believe in themselves. They need someone to talk to and help them understand the ups and downs of life. And with technology the way it is today, they need someone to understand what it means to work hard and overcome adversity instead of getting instant gratification.

That’s why I’m doing this; to remind these boys that they are good enough.

To remind them that as long as they believe in themselves, they can do whatever they set their minds too.

It’s amazing how a few encouraging words or us just being there can change a boy’s life forever.

That’s why the GentleMentour is dedicated to encouraging, inspiring, and adding value to their lives. My hope is that from us being there to listen to them and to teach them, they will grow up to be responsible, hardworking, and kind gentlemen.



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